Angi Taylor Show Recap With Jay The Gay

Photo: Flickr RF

This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.

Call in Point:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)

So, any way you slice it, this morning was going to be a wild one. Packaged in a wrapper was an idea that turned into a purchase that turned into a regret that turned into a business opportunity. This madness needs to be preserved for future generations because everyone needs to remember where they were when this momentous occasion occurred. Of course, I'm referring to the opening, then closing, then grand reopening of Abe's Deli (aka Chicago Abes, Porkbelly, Ahbay Kanan's, iHeart Subs, etc.) That's right, the man behind the Kanan Kollection, Clean Bathrooms and countless other business ventures that went nowhere brought us his latest money making scheme this morning. The funny thing was it didn't start out as a scheme and almost failed to launch until he spun the wheel just an extra inch and found a chance to bleed coworkers dry. All this nonsense started with Abe being on Amazon and seeing "beautiful meat slicers." His search for these steel machines of slicing death was inspired by a guy on Tiktok and deli meat costing $12 to $13 a pound. His initial plan upon ordering the $95 slicer (w/ $20 off coupon) was to go cook up some roast beef and slice it up for himself. Maybe slice some tomatoes, turkey, ham, etc. The possibilities of what he could create were endless. Angi, beacon of perfect health, immediately went in on Abe about dying faster from eating all the processed meats. Abe corrected her that he would be cooking everything fresh and slicing it because only slobs buy meat in bulk. Well that and he didn't realize a normal human could go out and buy a 22 pound side of ham for slicing. Angi was still taken aback, asking why he couldn't just use a knife to slice his meat and veggies? In the next of the many turns that this story took, Abe explained that he hadn't opened the slicer and he actually had decided to return it. See, he was afraid that he would accidentally chop off a finger. Well, there was that and you know, being too lazy to clean it. Abe is known for being accident prone though like the other day when he went to dump one garbage bag into another and ended up with a floor covered with rice. God only knows that he might end up tripping and getting his head somehow caught in the meat slicer. With his mind made up (wait for it,) Abe decided he is going to return it which means a trip to Kohl's (and more complaining.) After Angi said to just ship it back with a return label, Abe showcased his true motive which was he gets a 15% off Kohl's coupon for bringing it back to them. Still not convinced that Abe needed the slicer, Angi harped on that he should just get a knife and call it a day. Abe though doubled down saying that the cleaning was the only issue ... well that and it being ugly in his beautiful minimalist Ivory Tower. If he had a house though, it's a wrap, that thing would be the centerpiece of it. After all this though (there was a lot,) we finally came to where we should have expected it to land. Abe decided he needs to open his own deli. He would take Angi's meat orders, co-workers at iHeart's orders and eventually, strangers would just walk into his Ivory Tower and order food. In fact, Abe would even let Angi be the taste tester, offering up his salami to try. Unfortunately, Angi's polluted body only absorbs booze and cotton balls so she passed on the offer. It looks like the nitrate laden finger tip turkey will be going to the likes of Rufio or Fred when Abe's Deli (sure, I rebranded it as I went along) officially opens sometime this year (unless he goes to Kohl's tomorrow.)

Other Stuff from Today's Show

Speaking of wasting money, this morning Daily Discussion found us exploring a father who flushed $21,000 down the drain to send his kid to see Taylor Swift. It began with the father spending $1,800 on Taylor Swift tickets on StubHub ordering tickets in November as a Christmas gift. The tickets were never delivered and due to the freak out of not getting them, the dad went super extra and spent the money on a reseller. This rich mfer got the tickets, a limo and all the stuff one does when you have enough money for it to mean nothing. The problem is we always feel compelled to make our kids happy (or in my instance, other people's kids) and that involves ridiculous spending sometimes (or giving a beat down to a 95 year old woman over a Furby.) For example, when Angi's daughter was young, Tickle Me Elmo was the hot toy and so Angi had to spend weeks going to Target every single morning for a chance to get one. She did end up with the hot holiday toy but how much do you want to bet her daughter probably doesn't even remember it? That was definitely the case for the American Girl doll that her daughter's friend had at a sleepover that compelled her to want one. Angi dropped plenty on the doll (those things are expensive as hell) and she never ended up playing with it. As for Abe, Mama Kanan had to shank someone (probably) so she could get her hands on some Power Rangers that his brother Mike wanted. There was even a time when Hatchimals were so hot, Angi was giving them away on air and the phones lit up like when we give away chainsaws now. The thing is, Taylor Swift tickets being nuts and expensive is just the evolution of the old school tickets like N'SYNC, Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears costing an arm and a leg. All of this came forward to create the topic of what is something that the roadies had to spend an insane amount of money to get or fight someone over to appease their kid? With the Request Line nice and loaded (just like our host. Booze loaded that is, she works in radio so she's definitely not rich,) we got some more wild money spending examples. Trisha dropped a whopping $23,000 on a Sweet Sixteen party that spiraled out of control. The end result was a milestone event that had a Shifty Shellshock level bill attached to it. Trisha also tried to tell us that Taylor Swift came by but we're more likely to believe it was Taylor Hicks. Head Roadie Troy's parents had to get his sister a Cabbage Patch Doll which at the time was like fighting over a Tickle Me Elmo on drugs. Abe and his brother Sam both had a Cabbage Patch Kid with Sam's being a 3 year old named Herbie and Abe's a baby named Michael. As for Angi, her parents wouldn't buy her one because it was too much effort. Melissa's mother in law once bribed a Kaybee Toys employee (it wasn't me!) $150 dollars to put aside a toy for her (I forgot the toy so I went vague.) Rich also had a Cabbage Patch Kid but his was in the 90's when they became Cabbage Head Kidz or some reboot nonsense (we're assuming.) We also found out that Abe had a Teddy Ruxpin, He-Man, Thundercats, G.I. Joe's, a gold toilet and every other cool kid toy so in other words, Abe was spoiled as hell (shout out to Mama Kanan for working two jobs to get her kids stuff.) Amber capped us off by explaining that she paid $2,000! for life sized Anna and Elsa dolls from Frozen. If you are looking for more roadie comments or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (The Angi Taylor Show) and read up or drop us a comment.

Since we're talking about spending money, let's look at ride sharing which has spiraled out of control as of late with lack of rides and insane costs. Well guess what Uber and Lyft, your days are almost done because Black Wolf is coming for your meals. Now normally this wouldn't mean much but Black Wolf is packing heat so the moment someone starts acting up, they can put the other drivers down (literally.) That's right, all the people who drive for Black Wolf carry guns on them because if that isn't the most American thing ever, I don't know what is. Angi sees the potential in how this is a terrible idea but Abe thinks this might keep them from getting robbed. The thing is, Angi had a bad experience in a rideshare once and she is not keen on the idea of a guy having a gun as well. She once got into a ride and she said hello to the driver who asked her where she was going. She was fresh out of the bar and the back and forth merited him not knowing her name and her being locked in his car. Luckily, the combination of screaming and people seeing her outside the car got her out of what could have turned into a terrible situation. This ploy to gain attention by allowing guns is supposed to make us feel safer by telling us the drivers have to pass a background check (like that has stopped mass shootings) and they are trained to "de escalate situations" which seems like some jargon to sell the idea that leaving an AK-47 on the dashboard is a great idea. Abe pointed out that there are a ton of people who conceal and carry as is, so what's the difference really? We also wondered if you're allowed to drive around with a gun on you (which in this city, seems like an easy question to answer.) To end this, we explored exactly what would get you shot by a Black Wolf driver. "Can you turn on the air conditioning?" "Can you make this turn?" "Can you put on Rock 95.5?" That last one will get you uzi sprayed.

Finally, Angi has some bad news and she is a bit worried for Abe's mental health (outside of her normal concerns.) It seems that KIϟϟ' farewell tour is hitting some snags. I mean, this thing has been going on for the last six years or so as is (it started in 2018) and has been halted a ton of times as well. The newest snafu is coming during their European leg of the tour and their UK show on June 3rd is being pushed to June 5th. They had issues with gear being moved through Europe hence the delay but this is just yet another setback. Of course, none of this matters because Abe will be enjoying a Love Gun if they can get it through customs at their last show on December 2nd. This is also on the heels of other bands that are having issues overseas since covid because of shipping, visas and other problems are hindering them as well. I guess the point here is cross your fingers Abe that you'll get to enjoy the touch of Paul Stanley one last time.

Request Wars 2.0

Champion: Abe (Streak: 1)

Angi's (repping Jerry) Song Choice: "Teenage Dirtbag" by Wheatus

Abe's (repping Red) Song Choice: "Fly High Michelle" by Enuff Z'nuff

Winner: Angi

10 O' Clock Toast:

Toastee: Michael Jordan

With Lebitch being tossed out of the playoffs once again, we are done listening to anyone attempt to say that he is anywhere near Jordan. Seven extra seasons played and he still can't match the ring count so we dub Jordan the G.O.A.T and will not hear otherwise.

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

"So I'm on Amazon and I see these beautiful meat slicers." - Abe

"I should start selling deli meats on the side." - Abe

"What am I going to do with a bunch of meat?" - Angi